unpattern-pattern — UNPATTERN THE PATTERNS

**By definition:**
Anytime we feel anxious, we have to stop and understand where that anxiety is coming from. If we choose to ignore these physical signs, then we continue to create behavioral patterns of reaction that may not be beneficial to ourselves. UNCHALLENGED patterns keep us locked into the definition and commitments given to us when we were young and most of the times it don’t represent our true selves at the core. When we untangle, unravel, UN-pattern a pattern, we are able to connect deeper into our identity and have a healthier relationship with ourselves.

Does this sound familiar?

Patterns are embedded when four common experiences converge:

An event occurs which may or may not be serious but confronts us when we are very young and before we have the verbal skills to deal with our feelings. (i.e. a dog barks in our faces at the park and we are startled!)
There’s emotional reaction from adults who, in their concern, validate and even inflame our fear. (i.e. oh my poor baby, horrible, terrible, be afraid of bad dogs.) Often children are frightened by someone else’s fear. The adult emotional response starts feeding us messages that soon become our personal PTSD moment.
Feedback loops speak back unconscious fear/safety messages in whispers that occur every time we see a dog or go back to the park.
The unconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between reality and fiction so a feedback loop in the unconscious tells the conscious mind that it’s real.

Why “Unpattern Patterns"

Patterns are embedded in our SAFETY-seeking, certainty-needy brains in a numbers of ways. Family systems, definitions and identities given or inherited from cultural norms and even through our DNA, can set up repeated messages of feedback loops. We don’t challenge messages that are shared by the people we know, love, respect, and make up our systems of safety. We believe they are REAL! Unconsciously, we believe they are true because they have been with us for so long!

The next time our heart starts pounding, our eyes burn, we are holding our breath, we feel knots in our stomach, tingles in our hands, a tickle in our throat, or our neck, shoulders or chest tightens, we must STOP and take 10 breaths. This is generally the first step in identifying a pattern of what is holding us back.

The Benefits of “Unpatterning”

Opportunity inEvery Experience” then we task ourselves to Stay, Be Mindful, and Listen to the chatter of our brains that speak back to us with limits and fears to keep us in place!

Concretized patterns encourage behaviors designed to keep us in familiar, often limiting and blinding, systems. False identities and fear depend on feedback loops of old patterns. If we choose to “Be Fully Human; to find

Practice “Taking Full Credit”

Below are some exercises that give you an opportunity to practice the art of “taking full credit.”